Ubisoft wishes Watch Dogs 2 players a terrible Fourth of July [Updated]

Single-player mode had been slapped with loud surround-sound noise, until update.

 

Enlarge / USA-themed update to Watch Dogs 2 is making people's dogs bark thanks to surround-sound barrage. Cool, Ubisoft

 

Update, 3:15 p.m.: Following our article's publication, Ubisoft pushed a patch to remove Watch Dogs 2's
temporary, super-loud fireworks altogether. It'll cost you roughly 11GB of download to undo what Ubisoft calls an "annoying bug that snuck into our Independence Day Event that made the sound effects from the fireworks noticeable from everywhere on the map."
Original report:
Haven't played Ubisoft's Watch Dogs 2 in a while? Its developers apparently want to torture you for the next week if you consider doing so, all in the name of the U-S-of-A.
Usually, seasonal events in video games are good news. Holiday-themed quests, gifts, and trinkets are commonplace in MMOs like WoW and life sims like Animal Crossing.
Ubisoft's 2016 game Watch Dogs 2 falls in neither of those categories, but perhaps the company thought a little seasonal surprise would get the hipster-hacker open-world quest back on people's tongues. Its choice of patriotic accoutrement, however, hasn't brought out much happy feedback: a bombastic fireworks show that plays every "night" in the game (which starts every 24 minutes in real time and lasts for about 8 minutes).

Watch Dogs 2's fireworks update. You won't hear the surround-sound effect in this YouTube video, but you will hear how repetitive its limited pool of sounds is.
The biggest problem is that Ubisoft didn't balance this series of repetitive sounds for surround sound systems. Credit goes to NeoGAF user Vlaphor for this unappealing description:

The smaller fireworks that go off sound like someone is crinkling wrapping paper right next to my ears and the larger fireworks sound like someone is hitting the bass pedal on a drum set, also next to my ears.It only affects the rear/side channels of my 5.1 setup, so it feels as though I have a constant dome of fireworks around me.There's no consideration of distance, so the fireworks sound the same no matter where you are.There are only a couple of samples, so the fireworks begin to sound identical almost right away.Finally, the fireworks go off non-stop. It's not some kind of measured release of fireworks, it's thousands of the same fireworks, going off constantly for about 1/3rd of each in-game day. It's a mixture of some of the most irritating sounds available, run on a near-constant loop, and there's no way to turn it off.